Tuesday, 1 October 2013

My Biggest Ever Beauty Purchase Tag

Hey guys!

So I thought today I'd mix it up a bit. I'm still trying to play catch up with my posts from when I went away. Later today I'm going to be doing my September favourites but whilst at lunch, and thinking about how I've been married nearly a year (!) now, I started to think of tag ideas.

We all have a purchase in our midst that was big. Even if you are a High Street lover you've got one bit in your toolkit that cost a bit more than most. So I've set up this tag for you all to write a bit about that purchase, what difference it made to your life, was it worth it and anything else you'd like to add.

My biggest ever beauty purchase was HUGE. It's not make up either but it was utterly and totally life changing for me and, despite the cost, was one of the best things I've ever done.

Some of you who have seen my YouTube channel have seen my post about ten facts about me.

One of the facts that I revealed is about my teeth and the dental work I've had done. This has always intrigued people because more often than not there is something about your smile that often brings a secret shame. Whether it be they could be a bit whiter, a little bit straighter. This was certainly an issue for me.

This is something that has taken a while for me open up about because of all the parts of myself that I felt embarrassed about my smile was the most shameful. It was holding me back massively from simple things like going out with my friends, applying for jobs to even setting up this blog. Yes, this held me back from writing to you guys because I was so embarrassed.

This is pretty much the way I used to speak!

How I Lost My Smile

When I was 20, I lived in London and was at university. I had a group of friends who were party animals and a boyfriend that, thank goodness, is now long gone.

One night, in the summer, I was at a friends house in Waterloo. We were drinking and partying, dancing around until the early hours. As time moved on, the alcohol ran down we concocted an idea to go to the shop and buy some more. Party continues! Everybody is happy.

The problem was the vodka that we purchased, unbeknownst to us, was counterfeit. You have probably seen the Watchdog specials and the news bulletins on the dangers of fake alcohol. However we bought it from (what we thought) was a reputable shop and continued to party.

Fast forward to around 9am in the morning (Yes! We were proper party animals). My boyfriend and I had fought, he'd stormed off and I started to make my wobbly way home to my bed.

Feeling uneasy on my feet my friends offered to accompany me to the bus stop (as we were were only about 10 minutes from mine) but I declined stating I would be safe and sound before they knew it.

I remember it was REALLY hot, like super hot and a night long party wasn't helping. The next thing I know I'm being woken up by a policeman in a pool of my own blood asking me if I'd taken anything and that I was going to hospital.

It was horrendous. My parents were living abroad. My sister was hundreds of miles away. I was taken to A&E where a really mean nurse started shouting at me about the dangers of alcohol and asking what drugs I had taken (Erm! NO!) I was then undressed and hooked up to a saline drip whilst they tried to sort me out.

Several hours later I got up to use the bathroom and my face was a mess. I stared into the mirror crying at the fact I had knocked out three of my front teeth, my lip was split badly and my supposed boyfriend refusing to come and get me saying it "was my own fault".

The results came back stating I had methanol in my system and the very scary nurse apologised and organised for a taxi to take me home.

Fall Out

Shortly after I got rid of the boyfriend and despite this positive change in my life losing my smile had severely affected my life.

I wouldn't smile. Eating out wasn't possible. I would cover my mouth when I talked and would shy away from social situations I'd have been happy about before.

As time went on it started affecting my work life as well as my personal life. I couldn't work any part time jobs in customer facing roles for being paranoid. I avoided applying for jobs I was more than qualified for based on what I thought people would think of me.

Whilst most people were kind there were two incidents I can think of in particular that really hit home. Once I was on a night out and I accidentally knocked into a guy, I apologised and his actual words (burned into my memory now...) "Watch where your're going you skatty b**** and it wouldn't hurt for you to brush your skanky teeth once in a while!"

I immediately left my friends and wouldn't got out for ages afterwards.

I had perfected every "pout" "closed mouth smile" and every way to hide in photos
The second, and probably even more horrific, was in a client meeting. I worked at a magazine selling advertising and this was mostly done over the phone. One day my boss at the time and I drove half way across the country for a meeting. The guy wasn't particularly nice and throughout the whole meeting he kept making teeth references and looking at me in the eye, grinning his smarmy grin. He kept mentioning things like "pulling teeth" and "better than a kick in teeth".

The guy went on to try and buy several thousand pounds worth of advertising that I felt as happy about placing as he obviously did about my face.

The Fix

When I met Mr Candy I remember him saying that he loved my smile. I obviously thought he was proper bonkers but he could totally see passed it. I could relax and be myself. I still suffered with the hand over the face thing and not being able to eat out but I didn't have to hide.

When he proposed to me in September 2010 I was over the moon. My first reaction was happiness, tears and excitement which was then soon replaced with dread, fear and an instant reaction that it wasn't a good idea.

What bride wanted to try to cover up something as horrible as that on her wedding day.

That's when Mr Candy told me that he had been secretly saving up to pay for me to get my teeth fixed. Instantly bursting into tears I knew what I already knew, this was the most amazing guy in the world.

It took over a year, about 15 appointments, three titanium screws (that occasionally set off the odd metal detector at airports), 6 veneers and a course of whitening but I had a Hollywood smile in time for our wedding.

It literally changed my life. I could now go out and buy lipstick. I could smile at strangers without them freaking out. I could actually feel like a REAL human being.

Essentially, although cosmetic and practical being a massive issue, the main thing it made me feel like was an outsider. I felt like nobody wanted to speak to me. Like I perhaps smelt or was in a fight.... 

I'm all for being confident with your own skin but sometimes things need to be drastically done. I would never be an advocate for plastic surgery and I doubt I'd get any done myself however I can truly understand people who feel like that.

The Biggest Ever Beauty Purchase

 I'm cheating a bit because I didn't pay for the work. It was the second most expensive thing my other half has ever bought (the most being our house) and was a very long and painful process. However every time I look in the mirror, every time I look at my wedding photos and every time I get to smile at my husband, I feel so lucky. I am thankful for what it gave me back.

My life. My smile. 

On my wedding day with my shiny teeth :D